Your Lovely Nothing

Je me suis cassé, I am broken.
I'm an emotional slaughterhouse.
Eat me like your forbidden fruit.
Whisper to me like the plague I am.
Dig your nails within my back...je me suis cassé.


...buises painless, succulent divine.
Kiss you once more, my last good bye.
Your heart beats steady for another.... let it thrum pour moi seulment?


I'm the wall flower fed by your confessions.
Lusting you to drown your morals, je suis désolé.
A remnant of my memories,
I thought wrong when you held me close.
You held me like a precious relic, yet I was your lovely nothing.

Poligamy Playground

Satisfying in the sickest way, venture out and play.
The blood on my tongue is from licking my wounds.
Oh the shame,
I savor my scars.
Karmatic consequences fill my days.
Needing him when he's not there.
It's a war just to love you,
yet I'm winning the battle to love myself more.
I'm all the love [we] could need,
but in the effort I can't mold you to the perfection my mind has come to know.
Swinging, climbing, exploring...on the poligamy playground
Down there I'm free to cheat you with myself.

Half Full of Your Memories

Your thoughts coagulated in my mind.
You forced me to a narcissist!
Pedofile your mind, I will.
Your failed achievements, so simple and so sane.
I never knew, I never knew....
...the lover true would use me.
Dreams and tragedies flood my mind with no order.
What am I to do?
Line-less canvas with no room to judge
So dissapointing is your anti-climactic plot.
You're a broken record wretching thoughts into my glass of empathy.
You could never quench my thirst or fulfill my every little desire
...my patience is running dry and my glass has yet to empty.

A Penchant Autopsy

Can you feel my fingers plunged deep inside your eyes?

I knew you'd never make it through the night, you died upon my lap.

I dried your kiss with sin & gasoline.

Flipping coins on your eyes, no souls, here to guide you home.

Lets play doctor, I'll slice you sweetly.

Mauvais, you are my sunshine.

Lest we grind those bones completely.

I'll touch you right and feel you wrong.

6-27-08

With Oblivious My Heart is Locked [He Loves Me Not]

IV tapped spinal chord, synthetic comfort trickles in.
Prick my limbs with your puppet strings.

I [can] stand alone.

Intrauterine I once was

Nervously you filled my pre-climactic void.
I choke myself with " I don't need him"
Once, you needed me.
Swindling my emotions, my existence.
Trembling with anxiety, we know what we want.
<<Love is not the variable.>>
Make me bad beau, everything I morally decline.

My head, a bullet bearing nothing.
Empty and so vain, only to glisten in your eyes.
What beauty was once in my petal lips, drained now by your insecurities.
Let me put myself in your sight, to show everything I never was or hoped to be.
To see what you see in me...

I [want] to stand with you.

6/2/09

Dysfunctional

Days spent alone, company with no one to keep it.

Submissively exhilarated by my subconscious.

[Dysfunctional, paranormal, and emphatically flawed.]

Cannot differ the wraith dreams from my ego.

Pretty little ribcage, you're the front door to my inner workings

...and les doigts prying for enlightenment.

What am I?

Dysfunctional, dared to envisage. 

Hung in Resolute

Tossing & Turning

Broken & Debilitated 

I went and dug a little too deep

Take my gift.

A stab for each tear I wept.

Evolved to devitalize the weak-minded,

but born just like you!

8/20/09

Scarlet Comforts

My lips shining scarlet red, I allured you.

Shame is my name, pain was the game.

No longer blind...and cleansed to be dirty.

A fuck up with no strategy.

Manic persuasion cradling your ego, I can't imagine what I've got left.

Take me away from my world to make me a garden in your own.

This life induced with amphetamines is crumbling far too fast.

Leeching my morality to nourish your stability.

A guilt you can never repair, that day you lost my naivety. 

Fall in love did I, with the simplistics of human-bliss.

No more!

I've remembered how to be strong enough to reject.

I've gotta slit the breast of affection I craved from those around me.

Weened of adoration and greedy for vendetta.

8/11/09

Profligate: She Can't Help Herself

I am the voice of self loathing sickness who sings you to sleep.

Assured you are as beautiful as you'll never be.

& yet you're lost in screaming selfish psychosis.

I am rotten and so adored.

I like the (ugly); you are so pretty to me.

So wicked on the inside.

Your soul's a mirror bound to shatter when your beauty fades and your morals tip toe the edge of disbelief.

I've spat my verse and impregnated myself with your fears.

What makes you so different?

I am losing sensation from a pill one too many.

See you in my nightmare!

To weak to swallow, to proud to choke.

Unrelenting is my wretched cerebellum.

Walk two steps in my shoes,

.... find that the beauty of skin-deep births the carnal gift of ingnorance.

8/10/09

Inspirationless

Spindle fingers weaving sick embroideries.
My mind numb and empty of empathy.
Swallowing my narcissism and sleeplessly starving for clarity.
... in need to break free of these chains that dismember my thoughts.

Routine comforts no longer satisfy, but what will make the pieces fit?
Compelled to aggression, I'm still silent...I can't breathe on my own.
Whats it going to take to make me speak?

I'm not ready to leave my broken childhood behind.
I pick up the pieces and plaster them to my limbs.
My hearts locked in thorns,keeping me away from the passion I so desire.
Destroy the confinement that keeps-eye over my beat-less ticker.

Maybe then, you'll have your monster.

8-10-09

p.s. Toxic if consumed by hate.

No Way Out

I’m trapped..... suffocating alone in the arms of my death bringer.
The sweet kiss of  resurrection is nowhere to be found.
To this solitude wasteland I’m bound.
The fiery ground steals my innocence,erasing the foundation of good judgement as the smoke drowns my vision.
It reminds me of my pasts’ regrets,
...personifying me it's your every will.
I’m a lost cause trembling in the shadow of hope with no identity to call my own.
Longing for someone who bears my pain to free me from this shroud of non-existence.
The wings forged and feathered in the darkest corner are stitched to my back with the thread of molting ash.
I'm not meant to be your somebody,
I'm of another kind, genetically breaking your code of all reason.
My second chance, angelically coated with doubt and habits all too degrading.
It leaving me a monster, no mother could love.
Running through a maze of fallacies, I fall to my knees and surrender.
There’s no way out!

11/13/10

Addiction

My thoughts are my shell.

Your love is my airway.

I shall not be broken, 

even though you're what keeps me  strong.

We shall not be shattered, 

you're a blunt force trauma to my common sense.

Shelter my soul from the evils outside, as I lie in still  in my cocoon of dreams.

My life is your treasure to keep. 

Always liberating me from ignorance,

…. and oh the way you override my mentality, you’re so exotic.

You leave my mouth dripping like the sweetest climax.

You are the one and only, 

unleashing my inner succubus when the sun kisses the hill's horizon.

You are the one I need, my eternal key.

11/13/10

Missing You (Forever Eternal, My Friend)

Gazing at the beautiful starless night,
I see your face vividly in the sky.
You seem to be smiling at me peeking from behind the milky way, a galaxy too far from my arms.
Where ever you are I’ll find you, we will seek the companionship that no measure of mind can break.
For now be happy,wait for me... my time will come, stay strong my friend.
When we reunite in the afterlife we shall frolic on a pathway of wonderful memories and roses from our loved ones.
I sit here every day and think of everything we did together before you departed this world.
Death is a mere barrier holding us apart, but someday we can jump that barrier when I’m unshackled from this dimension.
Being reunited for old times sake would make my life complete,
My hope is that where ever you are, you’re happy.
I’ll visit your temporary resting place from time to time to remind myself  how much you meant to me...
The days are longer, each breath deeper, and my  tear lines drying with the autumn wind.
You loved the rain and the shivers my skin gave for you to warm.
The memory of you is an ink stain no drug can erase.

Kiss

Kiss me...

I want you to feel the same for me as I do about you.

Caress me!

As our lips meet, a spark of energy will flow through our veins making us one.

Our bodies are slightly pressed together.

I can feel your heart beating, it's the most comforting thing I've ever known.

I never want to let go.

This link, our polarity will shatter.

Enjoy me!

The warmth of your breath on my neck when we embrace sends shivers of excitement up my spine.

The first time our lips entangled the moment flashed like the sweetest Polaroid.

Each adoring minute seems like a second when I danced in the pools of your blue serenity, beneath the brow of your insecurity.

Though our love is divine and shackled in youth this kiss, our first kiss will hold me for a lifetime.

Disease

My body's rejecting me!

So sick,

so blind.

Parasite of another kind.

Don't leave me here,by myself!

I have nothing left

Dissociating from myself.

One of the ill I have become

You know me not.

I hide,

no one shall suffer my pain.

Isolated with my friends in literature, alone.

Their stories unfold to erase mine.

Damned am I,

these blood shot eyes.

A heart to love no other.

Cuts, scars, bruises,

of course it's not my fault.

Tear away my skin,

wash away my sins.

It's not my fault.

No other like me,

why can't I be like you?

Everything I Never Knew I Needed

Hate to invade on the sweet comforts monotony has given you.

You want something more, not sure I can take it.

My heart won't break twice. 

Empty is today, without the gentle caress of your voice against my emotion.

I can't trust myself yet I need to trust you.

Not whole, but broken just right I can't seem to make the pieces fit.

...my insecurities leave me cold to you

Hang on tight,

this ride is slow.

Nothing less than leap of faith...I mean fate.

You're nothing I expected and ALL the reason to remember how serene life once was.

We've lost more than we could gain in this life and yet we come back for more.

You captivate me.

I want out, come with me.

Take this world running, fall together, kiss the wounds better.

You're not a mistake that I can erase and I'm moving too fast.

This feels right. 

A kiss to make it real?

I'm not lying to myself again, you're with me and yet I'm alone.

Set on soul searching when mine was stolen. 

Help me find her? She should have been yours to begin with.

Along you came when I said never again and your empathetic sigh followed my every word.

You're perfect [hold me just right] and I can't look the other way.

Puppet

She's your little puppet to rape,
a slave lusted by your lies.
Shes's infected,
with an anorexic fear
Silenced with deception!

Wounded,bleeding,numb,never good enough! (x3).

Her eyes flicker with Misery,
you can't let her go.
Yearning for a maiden,
to cleanse your sins.
She is forsaken and bound,
by a cannibal.
You feast on her submission.
She is your puppet.

Wounded, bleeding, numb,never good enough.(x3).

Dehumanized with a curse of obedience.
She just wants to be good.
Temptation blinds us all,
she is a nothing.
Molesting her with your words,
imprisoning her will.
Her death will be your own.
...and her bones to be embedded in your tomb.
To embrace the ages,
for eternity she is to weep.
As a rotting soul...

Wounded,bleeding,numb, never good enough!

7/23/2007

Sweet Masochist

Sinner,

on my leash of temptation.

You the child of a new generation.

Spawned to lust pain.

I kiss your sins away you are mine, my pet.

Forget how they hurt you, I do it better.

Ressurect!

(CHORUS)

I the sadist now your mother, your lover, your priestess.

Let me strum your lullaby,

binding back your screams.

Your pain our pleasure.

 Sweet Muted Masochist.

On this eve I abuse thee.

Tempt what ought not to be tempted.

Percieved as innocence.

I the ink to your quil.

Concieving you,

 I know what you want.

Harm, it's bliss.

Violence and agony.

Smiles of submission brimming your brow.

(CHORUS)

I the sadist now your mother, your lover, your priestess.

Let me strum your lullaby,

binding back your screams.

Your pain our pleasure.

 Sweet Muted Masochist.

On this eve I abuse thee.

Tempt what ought not to be tempted.

Slicing, dicing, the raven knows.

Rockabye demon it's your pain that shows.

Blessing yourself with a surging ecstasy,

self destruction lighting your life.

No tears, no pain.

It's almost over now my child.

Forked paths such a curious one,

afar from the light.

Frolic my veined serenade.

I am you, and you are me.

I the sadist now your mother, your lover, your priestess.

Let me strum your lullaby,

binding back your screams.

Your pain our pleasure.

 Sweet Muted Masochist.

On this eve I abuse thee.

Tempt what ought not to be tempted.

10/23/2007

Ember in the Rain

I dream. 

I die.

My darkest place is here.

Tear me apart,

go break my heart.

My darkest place is here!

I hide my disease,

please look away.

To my pillows I scream,...I cry.

My darkest place is here.

Hunger filled with misery.

My scarlet paint and tattered scars.

Mirror my illusion.

Hollow out my eyes,

no more tears.

Shattered silence,

embrace my soul.

I regret...I regret,

swallowing my innocence.

My touch and embering curse,

just leave me be....

I need no host, yet I'm a parasite.

Using you, using them.

This world is not my own.

Mock my sorrow to cover up the lies,

this house is not a home.

Barcode on my wrist,

read me like the novel I am.

Tales of agony and lifeless lullabies.

I need you,

your labeled face.

Allow me...

to carress your tragic star-dazed heart.

Unlock me from this prison,

coax away the chains.

Here I lived, deemed to die.

My darkest place is here.

11/17/07

You See Me Not

Like the wolf to the moon,

I cry out to you.

My fingers green with envy.

These glass walls,

 they shred my skin.

These days alone all filled with sin!

Wrists,ankles,abdomin...chained and bound,

 to this holy ground.

We rot,

we weep.

(CHORUS)

I'm a seeker,

lost in my mind.

Never journey to find,

... what it is I need to keep sane.

The severed eyes all rest in vain,

you see me not.

A psychopath,

only justified by my past self.

The houses for the mad need not venture far,

the universe portrays it all.

They are there, always watching

You've forgotten your purpose,

'tis your greatest flaw.

Cringing, flailing, isolating.

Going insane...insane.

 (CHORUS)

I'm a seeker,

lost in my mind.

Never journey to find,

... what it is I need to keep sane.

The severed eyes all rest in vain,

you see me not.

Drowning in your perversion,

the ill live on the outside.

Hence,

my place here inside.

You are not welcome!!

I dreamed you knew,

love me,  FUCK YOU!

(CHORUS)

I'm a seeker,

lost in my mind.

Never journey to find,

... what it is I need to keep sane.

The severed eyes all rest in vain,

you see me not.

This pain is all too real,

candy ginger... bitter sweet.

My reaming memories all slip away,

caught in a tangled tragedy.

I among these people have no stories written on my flesh,

they dare not punish me.

I'm different yet the same, our minds entwined,

 my tears your blood.

My past your present,

I'm a murderer.

(CHORUS)

I'm a seeker,

lost in my mind.

Never journey to find,

... what it is I need to keep sane.

The severed eyes all rest in vain,

you see me not.

11/23/07

Kill Her, Your Demon

Prod her scars, not I.

She's empty and so gifted!

A mocking past rekindled.

She's not with us,she's waiting.

A witch, so pretty... so dead.

Embrace the damned, she's your demon.

So dead, but beautiful.

She didn't deserve it, such a fate.

Burned when good and ready

 ....she'll never die.

Sacrifice!

Kill, kill, kill,her!

Kill, kill, kill,her!

Kill your Demon!

Her heart and yours sutured together,

beating, bleeding, sanctifying what is to be of you both.

Cut away the shadows,

no more lies.

Her face in your mirror,

peel away your scabs and let her live.

No breath,

praise her!

She ressurects herself,

she's taking over you!

The witch, she lives.

Sacrifice!

Kill, kill, kill,her!

Kill, kill, kill,her!

Kill your Demon!

Never forgotten.

She touched your life but cursed be it

your past, drowns you

The shame,...the guilt.

Don't cry!

It's the memories you hold parasite.

You a  host so willing,

you can't even trust yourself.

Sacrifice!

Kill, kill, kill,her!

Kill, kill, kill,her!

Kill your Demon!

 Tonight,

her tattered gown and sillouhete.

She needs you still,

like you secretly crave her.

She is a part of you,

your veins.

Runs her path through you,

your noose she is.

Kiss of death curled behind those scarlet lips,

yearn, you must yearn she eats you inside out.

Butterflies tangled in her hair,

your wounds  are her tears a droning love song.

She smirks you wince,  fuck  please not this again!!

Endless hatrid, still she's your love, a sin.

Took it all away from you, and you need her.

Love her always...

kill, her!

Kill your Demon!

12/5/07

Slipping Away

Necrosis at my finger tips, I'm fading away!

You a pretentious fuck!

A sanctuary to my right,

I'm your god.

Yours misled you!

I will show you the way,

take my hand.

Diagnosis complete!

Fallen with defeat,

no resistance.

I'm sin.

Swallow the pills,

don't fret child I will still love you.

Let me be your someone.

Someone with no name.

A secret hushed by outsiders.

I'm an orphan weaned from love!

Love that was once,

a slaked lust by my demons.

So lost in my own mind...

obsessed with those that free it,

slipping away'

...AWAY!

Justified release, no more worries it's over now.

Please join me...give your body to the drug.

Use it, be used.

Diagnosis complete!

Fallen with defeat,

no resistance.

I'm sin.

Swallow the pills,

don't fret child I will still love you.

An open sore,your tomb it rots.

Burial grounds moistened by your poisen,

even in death it seeps from your veins.

Flowers merely moltenash,

no sympathy here.

12/9/07

Suspension

Melodic anguished lies.

Please love me again.

I'm torn,

an impaled cadaver.

You gave me life!

Bewitched again...

A massacred smile sewn to my face.

I'm distant!

Hooks to my shoulders and calves, I'm suspended,...

In the winter breeze my soul freezes.

Don't leave me here.

I miss your kisses, though they are my noose.

Loving my shameful necro tears, I died.

Keep walking away it's no embrace you need,

your face in my chest again!

Eat my heart out...shred my purity.

Let's see you dance this one out.

A Depression That Makes Me Happy

Carved into my palms,

baby that's hate.

Suffocate....

Remember when,

... just forget it all!

-Mary Moore

1/12/07

(This is to those of you, whom I though withheld love, but made me beg for death day by day)

Ode to thee, Unholy

He beholds your lusts,

letting your serpent tongue taste for the first time.

Let me write your prophecies. 

The shadows my new face,

deal your cards come play this game

Carve your fate in our asylum walls.

 

He lets me bleed just right,

destroying and creating my ash flecked mind.

Only in my nightmares do I walk in reality.

 

With him inside me,

I'm whole.

...his being is everything to your mislead eyes.

Sculptor of my flesh.

in my saliva he writhes.

Rotting my heart hollow,

and twisting my veins to apathy.

 

My lips splinter,

from kissing your tomb flowers.

Come back to me, to us.

To you I'm lost, but I'm alive.

 

2/7/08