Profligate: She Can't Help Herself

I am the voice of self loathing sickness who sings you to sleep.

Assured you are as beautiful as you'll never be.

& yet you're lost in screaming selfish psychosis.

I am rotten and so adored.

I like the (ugly); you are so pretty to me.

So wicked on the inside.

Your soul's a mirror bound to shatter when your beauty fades and your morals tip toe the edge of disbelief.

I've spat my verse and impregnated myself with your fears.

What makes you so different?

I am losing sensation from a pill one too many.

See you in my nightmare!

To weak to swallow, to proud to choke.

Unrelenting is my wretched cerebellum.

Walk two steps in my shoes,

.... find that the beauty of skin-deep births the carnal gift of ingnorance.

8/10/09

Inspirationless

Spindle fingers weaving sick embroideries.
My mind numb and empty of empathy.
Swallowing my narcissism and sleeplessly starving for clarity.
... in need to break free of these chains that dismember my thoughts.

Routine comforts no longer satisfy, but what will make the pieces fit?
Compelled to aggression, I'm still silent...I can't breathe on my own.
Whats it going to take to make me speak?

I'm not ready to leave my broken childhood behind.
I pick up the pieces and plaster them to my limbs.
My hearts locked in thorns,keeping me away from the passion I so desire.
Destroy the confinement that keeps-eye over my beat-less ticker.

Maybe then, you'll have your monster.

8-10-09

p.s. Toxic if consumed by hate.

No Way Out

I’m trapped..... suffocating alone in the arms of my death bringer.
The sweet kiss of  resurrection is nowhere to be found.
To this solitude wasteland I’m bound.
The fiery ground steals my innocence,erasing the foundation of good judgement as the smoke drowns my vision.
It reminds me of my pasts’ regrets,
...personifying me it's your every will.
I’m a lost cause trembling in the shadow of hope with no identity to call my own.
Longing for someone who bears my pain to free me from this shroud of non-existence.
The wings forged and feathered in the darkest corner are stitched to my back with the thread of molting ash.
I'm not meant to be your somebody,
I'm of another kind, genetically breaking your code of all reason.
My second chance, angelically coated with doubt and habits all too degrading.
It leaving me a monster, no mother could love.
Running through a maze of fallacies, I fall to my knees and surrender.
There’s no way out!

11/13/10

Addiction

My thoughts are my shell.

Your love is my airway.

I shall not be broken, 

even though you're what keeps me  strong.

We shall not be shattered, 

you're a blunt force trauma to my common sense.

Shelter my soul from the evils outside, as I lie in still  in my cocoon of dreams.

My life is your treasure to keep. 

Always liberating me from ignorance,

…. and oh the way you override my mentality, you’re so exotic.

You leave my mouth dripping like the sweetest climax.

You are the one and only, 

unleashing my inner succubus when the sun kisses the hill's horizon.

You are the one I need, my eternal key.

11/13/10

Missing You (Forever Eternal, My Friend)

Gazing at the beautiful starless night,
I see your face vividly in the sky.
You seem to be smiling at me peeking from behind the milky way, a galaxy too far from my arms.
Where ever you are I’ll find you, we will seek the companionship that no measure of mind can break.
For now be happy,wait for me... my time will come, stay strong my friend.
When we reunite in the afterlife we shall frolic on a pathway of wonderful memories and roses from our loved ones.
I sit here every day and think of everything we did together before you departed this world.
Death is a mere barrier holding us apart, but someday we can jump that barrier when I’m unshackled from this dimension.
Being reunited for old times sake would make my life complete,
My hope is that where ever you are, you’re happy.
I’ll visit your temporary resting place from time to time to remind myself  how much you meant to me...
The days are longer, each breath deeper, and my  tear lines drying with the autumn wind.
You loved the rain and the shivers my skin gave for you to warm.
The memory of you is an ink stain no drug can erase.

Kiss

Kiss me...

I want you to feel the same for me as I do about you.

Caress me!

As our lips meet, a spark of energy will flow through our veins making us one.

Our bodies are slightly pressed together.

I can feel your heart beating, it's the most comforting thing I've ever known.

I never want to let go.

This link, our polarity will shatter.

Enjoy me!

The warmth of your breath on my neck when we embrace sends shivers of excitement up my spine.

The first time our lips entangled the moment flashed like the sweetest Polaroid.

Each adoring minute seems like a second when I danced in the pools of your blue serenity, beneath the brow of your insecurity.

Though our love is divine and shackled in youth this kiss, our first kiss will hold me for a lifetime.

Disease

My body's rejecting me!

So sick,

so blind.

Parasite of another kind.

Don't leave me here,by myself!

I have nothing left

Dissociating from myself.

One of the ill I have become

You know me not.

I hide,

no one shall suffer my pain.

Isolated with my friends in literature, alone.

Their stories unfold to erase mine.

Damned am I,

these blood shot eyes.

A heart to love no other.

Cuts, scars, bruises,

of course it's not my fault.

Tear away my skin,

wash away my sins.

It's not my fault.

No other like me,

why can't I be like you?